oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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