if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
