Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
