You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
