How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
