ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
