had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
