There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
