took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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