Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
