yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize