Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
