I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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