i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
