is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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