Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
