whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Shame - the story of my life.
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