I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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