She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
