Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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