He is an equal opportunity slut.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
should my penis look like a turkey
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize