it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
