Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was born a porn star she said
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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