btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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