im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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