He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize