We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
