singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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