honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
