All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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