Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize