The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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