The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
