no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
