toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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