How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize