i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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