If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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