god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize