You really coming over, don't trick.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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