perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize