I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
