Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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