can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
