Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
