No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
