ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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