i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
