WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
