Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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