cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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