apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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