I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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