You're so nebulous sometimes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The uberlube is also flammable
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
