i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
