had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
