I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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