Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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