We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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