hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
