I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
