I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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