marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's blow job season.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
