If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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