He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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