I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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