I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
