all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
